bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
