Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
