You're my little dorito
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
