Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
