im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
