then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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