We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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