I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I am available for nakedness
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
