I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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