I think im going to throw up on grandma
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
