I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
