I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
