I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
