I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
