If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
