I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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