The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
