Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
