is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
