I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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