So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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