I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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