You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
