She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
