It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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