why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she told me i tasted like america
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
