You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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