just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
