I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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