The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
