i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
