found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
