I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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