And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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