I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
