My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
