she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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