Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
