ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
