dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
