you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
