I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
