So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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