I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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