Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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