Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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