why do cheetos always look like penises
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
