I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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