what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
