Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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