I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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